Day 14 of the big adventure, according to Lauren.
We awoke in our cheeky monkey’s room to a 6am alarm. It was unpleasantly early, but we were more than ready to see the back of koh samui and head over to Phuket. We wearily packed our bags (great excitement ensued for Sarah, packing up The Box with a few more belongings than she arrived with) and headed down to check out. Our transport arrived and we were taken to the pier to catch our boat. Upon arrival I looked at my watch and, seeing we had a good 50 minutes until the boat left, decided we should go and get some breakfast. We found a cafe close to the pier so sat down to peruse the menu. We decided on our orders (boiled eggs for Sarah, obviously, and a bacon sarnie for me) and I headed up to the counter to order. I glanced up at the clock on the way back which, to my surprise, read twenty to eight. Our boat left at 8. Well done Lauren’s slow watch. So with just 10 minutes til the boat left when our food arrived, some serious food shovelling took place and then we were on our way.

 

 
After some initial confusion about which boat was ours, we boarded and took our seats. We chose one of the only empty rows on the bottom deck and it turned out that there was a reason this one was empty. There was an extremely loud Thai woman having phone conversation on loud speaker in the row next to us. Zero sleepy time for Lauren & Sarah. It was also icy cold. I mean I understand the need to keep it cool due to the outside heat but this level of air con was just extreme. We ended up relocating to the open top deck in the sunshine which was a little breezy but a much nicer temperature.

When we reached the pier in Surat Thani we were directed towards the appropriate coach to take us across the mainland to Phuket. Sarah needed to go to the toilet before our 3 hour (or so we thought) journey so we held back and were told there’d be another bus for the Phuket group that didn’t fit on the coach. We were then ushered onto the coach that was headed for Phuket airport and were told we’d do a transfer. I was skeptical and reluctant but with a lack of other options we just had to have faith that they’d get us there eventually. We climbed into the coach and grabbed some seats close to the back. They looked ordinary to begin with but we soon realised that I was strangely far away from the window and Sarah was almost in the aisle. Our seats had clearly come away and been wonkily re-attached so we were on a bit of a diagonal. Classic Thailand. We settled in anyhow and took a look at the coach, unsure how long we’d be on it. There was a disco ball above us and several others down the length of the coach, there were impressive speakers in the ceiling, there was a funky brightly coloured pattern lining the whole interior paired with some garish blue frilly curtains. We were on the disco coach. Bravo us.

  

Around half an hour in the uncomfortably hot disco coach later, we pulled up into what looked like a Songserm (the travel company) coach graveyard. There were several dilapidated, badly rusting coaches, all falling apart, looking like they had been sitting there abandoned for years. This wasn’t looking promising. The coach stopped and the door opened and we assumed this was were we were meant to disembark to catch other transport to Phuket town. We went to the check in desk and handed over our tickets and were given back a pink sticker each with letters on them indicating where we were headed. Thank god – you know things will be ok when they label you with a destination sticker. The man said our transport would arrive in 20 minutes so we sat down and delved into our snack pack.

5 minutes later, an Isuzu Ute pulled up and the driver starts shouting “Phuket Phuket”. We assumed this was our transport so grabbed our bags and headed over, along with 9 other passengers. Everyone’s backpacks were loaded into the back of the ute and then we were told to get in too. Sarah nabbed an indoor seat with a family, and the rest of us were crammed onto the open back of the ute next to the pile of luggage and a child’s push chair. Knees to chests and sweaty thighs touching, things were pretty cosy. The driver took his seat and the helper climbed onto the back (that’s ok I didn’t want to feel my toes anyway) and shut the fold down flap to hold us in. We sped along the motorway, hair and lashes flapping ferociously, and then pulled up on the side of the road after around 10 minutes. What was going on here? Did we need some petrol or possibly some refreshments for the driver? The helper climbed out and crossed the road to where two backpackers were stood looking hopeful. He escorted them back over the road towards our ute and it soon became clear that they were going to be squeezed in too. This should be interesting. The helper flapped down the back and shoved two more backpacks on. The two worried looking newbies perched precariously on their backpacks and off we sped again, safety flap down for extra floor space. We bunched up as tightly as we could and held on for our lives.

10 minutes of wind whipping later we pulled up to a clearing with bamboo huts, picnic tables, an open kitchen and a toilet. We climbed out of the ute, grateful to be alive and stationary, and chose a bamboo hut in an effort to escape the strong sun.

  
With little idea of what was happening we sat tight and awaited further instruction. When the driver returned from the kitchen with a big bowl of rice, it became clear that we might be here for a while. I did Sarah a French plait and she did some blogging, and we made our way through some ice creams in a desperate attempt to keep cool. Even though we were in the shade we were still sweltering in the midday 32 degree heat.

 

 
Hope was dwindling for any other transport with each half an hour that passed. After the sweatiest two hours of our lives, two minibuses pulled up and we were relieved thinking that they were here to collect us. The doors opened and a load of other backpackers disembarked. Damn, they were dropping off, not collecting. So close! We overheard our driver saying that we’d just have to wait for another group of people and then we could be on our way.

 

 
Half an hour later it was finally our turn to get into the air conditioned havens of the minibuses. We took our seats (actually very comfortable, thank god) and were finally on our way to Phuket. I started drifting off to sleep but was rudely awakened by the slamming of the minibus brakes. I peered outside to see us narrowly avoiding a ute reversing the wrong way up a motorway. Yes you read that correctly. We continued and I was drifting again until the brakes slammed once more, this time slowing down to prepare for the road suddenly turning to gravel. A couple of hours later we stopped for a break at a “service station” (a few open kitchens with questionable looking food and a toilet) to stretch our legs and grab some refreshments. We piled back into the minibus for the final leg of our journey.

An hour later we were dropped off at a bus station which was strangely a bit of a way out of town. This meant we had to find alternative transport and after 12 hours of travel, our bartering attempts were futile. We accepted the fare (it wasn’t too extortionate) and the taxi took us to our hostel; Best Stay.

  
It had cute fairy lights on the outside and an open front with fun decor inside. We checked in, headed upstairs and opened our door to a lovely looking king sized bed, complete with a big cuddly toy dog perching on the end. We whacked on the air con and had a lie down with Barney (the dog) and set about deciding where to get some dinner.

 

 
Sarah found a quirky looking place on foursquare with great reviews only a 5 minute walk from us. Perfect. Sarah ordered a watermelon mojito and a pesto chicken pasta, and I got a glass of white (seriously missing wine – it’s a rarity in Thailand) and a some spicy fried rice with grilled pork. The cocktail arrived in a fun jar and the food came equally beautifully presented. My rice was super super spicy but I powered through as the flavour was delicious, and Sarah’s pasta pesto cravings were well satiated. We had a look through our lonely planet Thai islands guide and made a vague plan of where to go next while munching down our food, and then headed to bed. We were ready for a good sleep after a long day but some loud Germans next door had other ideas. They finally shut up after a couple of hours so we could get some well deserved rest. Until 5am when a couple of loud Brits moved in next door…

Hostel issues.