Day 17 of The Big Adventure, according to Sarah. 
The 5am alarm came, to which Lauren and I chorused ‘absolutely not’ and continued trying to get some sleep. 

At 9am we realised we had to check out of this hostel by 10.30am. We decided we’d leave our bags there while we explored PhiPhi and then get a boat over to Koh Lanta where accommodation was far cheaper for much better quality. We booked into a hostel with air conditioning and a pool for the same price as this hell hole. 

At 10am one of the hostel staff members came and banged on our door to check that we were checking out that day. We packed up our stuff and headed to reception to check out where she curtly told us we couldn’t leave our bags there. Oh great. 

The boat we’d booked to Koh Lanta didn’t leave until 3.30pm and we couldn’t really lug our huge packs around with us all day. 

I quickly decided that PhiPhi was not our friend and this was a definite sign for us to leave ASAP. I ran back to the travel info place we had booked our ferry ticket to plead with them to let us on the next ferry – which left at 11am. It was 10.30 now. It would be tight but it would be worth it as long as we didn’t have to lug our bags around all day until 3pm. She agreed and said ‘hurry – you supposed to check in now’. I ran back to Lauren at the hostel and told her we had to go right now. 

We donned our packs and walked as quickly as we could (running was not an option) through the streets of PhiPhi. We got to the pier and breathlessly tried to check in to get on the boat. ‘It leaves at 11.30’ was the response. Oh great. Our hangovers had reached another level in the heat and with the unexpected exercise. Time for a spot of breakfast. 

So we wandered around and found a cute cafe that was advertising breakfast. Perfect. Also, enjoyably named Mango Cafe. 

We both ordered eggs on toast and a fresh orange juice.   

  
After wolfing it down, we both realised we felt a bit sick and that getting on a boat was the last thing either of us wanted to do. With no other option, we headed to the pier to find our boat. We got on board and found our way to some seats. Both feeling distinctly worse for wear, we tried to sleep but the lack of aircon made the heat unbearable and we were just so uncomfortable. Thankfully, the journey only took 2 hours and we arrived at Lanta. A lady came round while we were all still on board asking which hotels everyone was staying in and organising shared taxis for people going in the same direction – very helpful. We told her where we were going and she popped a sticker on me like I was a piece of luggage and told me the taxi driver would find me at Koh Lanta. We got off the ferry at Koh Lanta and walked down the pier where a friendly taxi driver grabbed me and said ‘this way – you come with me’. He lead us out to another ute type vehicle with a wooden structure on the back to provide shade. Lauren was not impressed.

  
We hopped on with 8 other people and we were off. One of the first noticeable things about Koh Lanta was that there is a lot more open space. It is not nearly as touristy and a lot quieter. On the ferry over we noticed the clientele were more middle-aged with two kids on a family holiday, than 20-somethings looking to get drunk every night of the week. Driving along the roads of Koh Lanta made it obvious that everyone rented a scooter. There was no other feasible way of getting around – everything was so spaced out and there was no obvious public transport. 

The taxi driver dropped us at our hotel and we went to reception to check in. ‘Aaahh you Sarah? You book standard room? Hotel fully booked’. Oh god. Not again. 

‘So we upgrade you to bigger room for same price’ RESULT. 

She showed us up to our family suite, which consisted of a double bed, a single bed, an en suite (with bath – ooohh errr) and a little balcony area. Lovely. 

  
As soon as we got in, we whacked the air con on full blast and basked in all its glory. After cooling down and settling in, we decided to head down to the pool, just because we could. 

On arrival at the, somewhat smaller than expected, pool we realised there were no available sun loungers. So we headed to the beach, which was roughly a 2min walk away. Perfect. 

We arrived and both went straight for the water. Thankfully, it was a little cooler than jacuzzi-hot-PhiPhi, but still not exactly what you’d call ‘cold’ or ‘refreshing’ but it was very pleasant all the same. We floated there for maybe half an hour and discussed our prospective hangovers and how strange the night before had been. We both felt like we wanted to eat everything and anything but that we were both also still very full from breakfast. What a conundrum. 

We ventured along the beach to a resort’s restaurant as Lauren had decided she had a craving for potato wedges and sour cream. The best they had were French fries with mayonnaise. So we ordered French fries and 2 sprites and sat in hungover silence, surrounded by loud German families with too many screaming children. 

Lauren went a bit maverical with her condiments and ended up having chilli sauce on her fries, along with Maggi (a South African condiment similar to Worcester sauce). 

On the table was a small flyer advertising a ‘party’ they were having that night with traditional Thai dancing, Muay Thai boxing and a fire show. We thought that sounded like a good plan and decided to come back for dinner later that evening. 

We both agreed we were feeling much better post-chips and decided to make use of the resorts pool. I’d like to point out at this stage, we weren’t staying at this resort. But we had just bought French fries so we thought we could probably get away with it. 

  
We chose two loungers in the shade and lay down – Lauren went for a dip in the pool and I got started on my new book. 

  
After a few closed-mouth snoozes from Lauren and a few chapters later for me, we decided to head back to the room to finally have a shower in something other than sewage. 

It was a slow trickle at best, and about as powerful as rain. But the water didn’t smell so that was a plus. 

Our showers took considerably longer than normal as washing conditioner out of our hair really was quite testing. 

But once we were showered and fresh, we put our nicest frocks on (my only frock) and headed out for the ‘party’.

We walked about 3 minutes down the road to the other resort’s restaurant and found a table. In our still slightly hungover states we ordered a spaghetti carbonara and a vegetable pizza to share. The carbonara turned up within 10 minutes so we both tucked in. The carbonara was practically finished by the time the pizza arrived a good 20minutes later. Luckily, the Thai dancing had started by that point so we were distracted from our hunger. 

It was so interesting to see the locals dancing to classic Thai music in beautiful Thai outfits. We realised we had barely heard any traditional Thai music or infact any Thai music at all during our trip. Every restaurant/bar/shop seemed to play mostly reggae (they LOVE Bob Marley here) or old pop songs (we’ve heard ‘No Promises by Shayne Ward a shocking number of times).
After the Thai dancing we didn’t fancy hanging around to see the Muay Thai, we’d seen more than enough fighting in PhiPhi. So we decided to head home for an early night. 

On our way we passed a travel agent and decided to pop in to ask about what there was to do on Koh Lanta. The travel agent, we have since concluded, was high. He was scatty, very talkative and couldn’t hold one line of thought. One of the first things he said to us was ‘You want some water lemon?’ 

Lauren and I looked at each a little confused and politely replied ‘Oh we’re fine – we’ve got a big bottle of water, thank you’. That was not the last we’d be hearing about the water lemon. He told us a story about the time he saw a UFO (we thought he was joking at first, but our giggles were not well received) and that he didn’t believe in World War 1. What are you even supposed to say in a situation like that?! All Lauren and I could muster were a few half hearted ‘mmmmm’s and ‘oh really?’s. We’d only come in for a quick chat about excursions and this seemed to have escalated into a full blown life story.

He then told us we should be in a movie. We weren’t really sure how to take this at first but have since decided he clearly thought we looked like movie stars. 

Thankfully, we found a leaflet of a snorkelling tour of some of the local islands that looked perfect, so we asked if he could book us on for the next day. To which he replied: ‘You want water lemon?’. We were going round in circles. Again, Lauren and I politely declined and tried to get back on track. At which point, he pulled a watermelon out from under the desk and a big knife. Ooohh waterMELON. That made a lot more sense. We had a good giggle to which he seemed completely oblivious and politely declined once more. Can we just get on with booking the bloody tour?!

Thankfully, he then picked up his phone and made some calls and managed to book us on for the next morning. Perfect. 

Whilst talking to the crazy travel agent, some of the cutest little ginger kittens had walked into the ‘shop’ (again, loose term) and were play fighting. Cutest little things ever. 

  
We had a little coo over them and decided it was time to head home before he started another story.